Friday, June 4, 2010

the moment of choice

To my friends that have come and are cheering me on either by commenting or not commenting:

I am surviving...or not, in any given moment of my life these days. In one moment I see something that I haven't seen before...a space for the miracle of forgiveness and compassion to scream through my pain.

In the next, the betrayal and deceit still mock me just when I think I may turn the corner from them for good.

Worry not though, from the grace of an unseen (but not unfelt) Source, I am still standing. Tenacity runs strong through my veins (thank you Goddess and Mom and Sorrow) and in the moment that I feel like I want to plunge into darkness, I stay afloat. I don't know how, I just do.

I am aware, constantly, that each moment is a chance to simply see. The euphonism for it is AFGO (another fucking growth opportunity). "Take it or leave it, WRO." I hear Her say, and each moment then becomes a choice.

Our lives never stop being about the choice to see moments for what they really are. While I want the rollercoaster to stop (NOW!), I always want to have a choice.

I never want it taken away from me again. Ever.


Libbie said...

i LOVE that video!!

Keep putting one foot in front of the other, do the work, let time take care of the rest.

"You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world."

Rochelle said...

What a powerful, thought provoking post (and I am definitely going to steal AFGO!). Sending you virtual hugs and two big thumbs up - you rock!

Sorrow said...

Your wisdom shines thru, in every thing you say, or don't say, but mostly in just shines through the beauty, grace and tenacity that is you...

kerrdelune said...

May I use "AFGO"? By the Goddess, this post sounds like me. Thinking of you, Lil...

Anonymous said...

Betrayal of trust is always hardest to bear. Sometimes it can be forgiven, sometimes not.

Forgiveness isn't always the goal or our most authentic choice, depending on the circumstances.

Shakespeare said it best..."This above all, to thine own self be true."

Tenacity...yes. Hold on tenaciously to your core-self and know that you are worthy of honest love.

Love with spiritual hugs,