Friday, January 9, 2009

Acknowledging my Creative Self ~ Chapter 1

"You are an original; therefore, your inspirations are original as well."

This jolted me outta my comfortable yet self-sabotaging belief of nothing-I-think-about-creating-is-that-unique-that-someone-more-creative-than-me-hasn't-already-thought-about. Hold on a freaking second. Let's say for a minute that I am unique (rinse, lather, repeat for us non-believers), it's reasonable to assume that so are my that what Gail McMeekin is saying? If that's so, than I better plaster those words just about everywhere in my home because that is the number one reason I do not pursue my creative spark.

(there I said it)

Somewhere along the way, amongst the moments of comparing myself to my fellow classmates in art class, I began to believe that any little sparks of ideas that popped into my head were not worth pursuing because someone else probably would or already has. That's a whole lotta self-doubt for a young girl. And while I'd like to go back to the exact moment that that belief soaked into my cells so that I can eradicate it, really, I'm better off just re-recording something my inner-self said to me just now:

Where has this belief gotten you? What beauty have you denied yourself and those around you because you don't think you're uniquely creative? What would need to happen so that you really see yourself as you are ~ a creative woman who's only acknowledgement that matters is your own? You don't need validation from anyone else.
Leap my love...with the tenacity that you've re-ignited this year.

Oh she's a sly cookie that Self...She knows the kind of pep talk I need to believe that I can do this. That I can, finally and fully, allow my creative soul to emerge and plant itself into the fertile soil of my accepting heart.

And my partner, when I mentioned to him that today was the first day of the creative book club, he matter-of-factly told me I was creative. That creeping self-doubt voice quivered a "Really?" as tears started to roll down my face...because if he sees it, (I haven't shared with him about my doubting gremlins), and I keep getting magical hints from the Universe that I am...well then maybe, just maybe...

...I am.

(there I said it)

What color is best to knit a safety net in?

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